How to ascend progressive organizations

As a non-progressive

You’re conservative. Your colleagues are progressive. You need this job. 

In fact, you want to rise to the top, to gain wealth and make a good life for your family, without losing your soul. Here’s how you do it. 

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Why you’re there

The first step is to be absolutely clear on why you took this job. Always remember this: you go to work to earn money, to build a career, and to provide for your family. 

You do not go to work in order to politically convert the random person they sit you next to. 

All subsequent advice should be taken with this in mind. You will be tempted to argue with people, to reply to snarky group messages, to crusade against the constant indoctrination. 

Pause. Breathe. Repeat this mantra: “Is the risk worth the reward?” 

Are you likely to convert any of these 25 year old radicals with a Slack message? No. Are you likely to get reported to HR? Yes. 

This is the reality of the situation. Let this sink in. It’s worth remaining silent to feed your kids. 

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Know your opponent 

Woke activists are a curious breed. As we all know, they can become totally insane, demanding that someone lose their livelihood over expressing the most normal opinions, screaming demands for ‘justice’. 

On the other hand, you’ll find that these same people can - when not triggered - be good natured, skilled at their jobs, even kind and funny. You want to keep them in this mood: your life will be more pleasant, and you’ll have fewer unnecessary enemies. 

If you get good at navigating woke institutions, you can forge real friendships, even with people who claim to hate conservatives. Try to keep love and charity in your heart: remember that these people have been brainwashed, and they might have been quite normal in a sane era (admittedly some would have been spiteful demons in any era). 

Like the Manchurian Candidate, these people have trigger words that will send them from being pleasant into a sudden frenzy. You can imagine what these words are: avoid them. There’s really no reason to discuss immigration, abortion, and how Pat Buchanan has been vindicated - you might win a battle but you’re certain to lose the war. 

Be the Sun Tzu of Goldman Sachs. Fly under the radar. Your HR department should have no idea who you are. 

But this doesn’t mean that you have to be totally passive. 

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Evangelize, don’t prosthelytize 

Don’t argue with these people; you won’t win. As

Letters from Fiddler's Greene

has pointed out, they have magic words on their side that can instantly get you fired: racist, transphobe, homophobe, bigot. If you put them on the defensive, like a cornered animal, they will go berserk.

Don’t meet them where they’re strong; meet them where they’re weak. Instead of talking, focus on clearly being healthy, fit, well dressed, attractive, and wholesome. While they virtue signal, you need to be actually virtuous, emanating genuine friendliness, kindness, patience, love, respect, and charity. 

Look - subconsciously, these people know how embarrassing it is that they wrote their college dissertation about Grindr, and that they spend their spare time posting fetish porn on Discord. If you get good enough at presenting well, they’ll be too embarrassed to try and talk to you about any of this stuff in the first place. You can glide through the craziness untroubled. 

Meanwhile, you can show people pictures of your kids, talk about how nice it was to have your parents visit for the holidays, and generally be a charming and good guy. Take every opportunity to congratulate and spotlight others - especially wokies. 

If you’re too young to have kids, I’ll let you in on a secret: a lot of women in these companies are woke in the streets, fascist in the sheets. You can get away with an amazing amount if women and gays are more interested in flirting with you than cancelling you. When you’re handsome, they just let you do it [be conservative]. Although - as a good Christian boy - I must implore you not to fornicate with these crazies. 

As well as being non-confrontational and well liked - you need to be really good at your job. 

If you’re irreplaceable, leadership will get mad if someone tries to drive you out over a triviality. If you’re staying out of all the political and social debates raging around you, you can focus on your work. Be disciplined, be effective, be serious, be impossible to replace. 

You want to be the white collar equivalent of the 240lbs thick-necked Eastern European construction worker. Your vibe should be: ‘I have no reason to fight you, you have no reason to fight me, but if you try, there’s 0% chance you win.’

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What if you’re confronted?

That dreaded moment has come: someone has just directly addressed you with a woke question. Dicey dicey. 

Time to switch tactics.