Becoming Noble

Becoming Noble

Share this post

Becoming Noble
Becoming Noble
In search of lost dreams
Copy link
Facebook
Email
Notes
More

In search of lost dreams

At night, I'm met by silence. Are you?

Johann Kurtz's avatar
Johann Kurtz
Sep 12, 2024
∙ Paid
139

Share this post

Becoming Noble
Becoming Noble
In search of lost dreams
Copy link
Facebook
Email
Notes
More
39
14
Share

Every night, I lose existence. My dreams are empty of substance; meaningless loops and trivial encounters. In the dark, after a day of city and screens, I find that there may be little more to me. 

In the 1983 Robert Irwin novel ‘The Arabian Nightmare’, a character suffers horrendous torture in his dreams every night, but each morning forgets of his torment.

What does it mean if I experience the most horrendous silence? 


The last game I ever played was Valheim, a Viking survival game.

Only one detail has stuck with me: when my character slept, my screen went dark and descriptions of dreams were given. These were simple, short, and magnificent.

You dream of a river running uphill, of green shoots turning downward into the earth…

You dream of a great tree reaching out through the night. One half of its branches crackle with flames, the others are green with leaves.

You dream you are lying on your back in a meadow, gazing upward at the clouds. Your name is nothing, your mind is free of thought. But there is a warm hand in yours.

Such dreams could only arise from a life rich in beautiful experience. Could I ever dream thus?

CDN media
Rekha Garton

Dreams have always been understood as a source of self-knowledge, a vector by which to unveil one’s nature and God-given fate, a means by which the unencumbered soul wanders out into the world.

Dreams have always been a source of mystery… They have been seen as omens, messages from the gods, and from the subconscious; from the soul and the self; from angels and demons.

— Rahul Jandial, This Is Why You Dream

If my dreams reveal little to me, it is troubling. To be clear, I am not asking for divination: demon-given views into the future. I ask only for reflections of the beauty of a life well-lived, for holy images and great adventures. And I suspect I am not the only one who wakes unsated.

Keep reading with a 7-day free trial

Subscribe to Becoming Noble to keep reading this post and get 7 days of free access to the full post archives.

Already a paid subscriber? Sign in
© 2025 Johann Kurtz
Privacy ∙ Terms ∙ Collection notice
Start writingGet the app
Substack is the home for great culture

Share

Copy link
Facebook
Email
Notes
More