Very very important to find a perfect-for-you-spouse.
My marriage has worked out well.
My story:
At the end of a failed 3 year relationship with a man I truly had loved, I cried out (screamed at) God to send me a man I could trust.
The very next day, as my sister and I were driving down a busy street, in a city of millions, we pulled up next to an attractive man in a nice car. He turned and caught us both staring at him.
He waived and we waived. At the next light we turned and he went straight. The end? No.
Three hours later he pulled up next to my sister, on the same street. This time he followed her and got our phone number (we lived together).
He called and sat up a week night meeting. The year was 1976.
He was perfect (for me) but far from perfect. He would say the same about me.
Moral of our story:
If you want a good (for you) spouse, scream at God about it.
Your Maker is a great match-maker. He knows you both better than you will ever know…
They aren't mutually exclusive and yet any woman of substance attending church will see right through you if you are there only to seek a wife. They will also ignore you if you are not serious in your pursuit of God. No, you shouldn't just sit around waiting but actively building yourself is not waiting. My point was that you need some amount of substance to be of interest to any woman worth the effort and you need to put in the effort to gain substance.
What would you say about a wife and mother who works -- whether full-time or part-time, outside the home, or virtually from the home?
Can a family where the wife does work follow well-ordered, traditional gender roles with husband as leader? There are Catholics who hold a wife working outside the home to be a mortal sin, and church documents which disapprove of the practice. What is your opinion on this?
I don't have a well developed or properly theologically formed view on this, so take with a grain of salt please.
My instinct is to say that it depends on the job. Probably fine if the hours are short enough to allow her to also do other important wifely/motherly things. Not good if the job means her spending long hours away from the home, especially in the company of random men.
Long hours and company of women aren't ideal, should be avoided/reduced where possible, but are worth the tradeoff for other benefits (supporting the family).
Men cheating on women isn't less of a concern, and I didn't say it was. Neither did I say anything approaching your final sentence.
Of course! There are no absolutes. Develop the best career you can while being the best man you can. No one is perfect. Every woman has to make compromises when choosing her man - just as you will have to choose and love an imperfect woman.
Yes, absolutely. Women are good at spotting men who have potential to become great husbands. Just make sure you're on the right path and she'll discern that
All of this advice is useless if you are not already a person of depth. Instead of going to church to look for a wife instead go to become a man of God. After you have gained substance you won't have to seek women out, they will find you. And nobility for the sake of power is an empty enterprise. As Solomon stated it is just chasing after wind and avails nothing. Seek a life of substance (the Kingdom of God) and all else will be given to you.
Going to church to become a man of God and to meet a wife aren't mutually exclusive, and marrying, protecting, and providing for a good woman will all aid in 'developing depth'.
Sitting around and waiting for a woman to find you because you've decided that you've gained sufficient 'substance' is impressively terrible and unnatural advice, and goes against the entirety of the Christian tradition of courtship (right back to Rebecca and Isaac). You won't find a wife this way.
Commenting because:
Very very important to find a perfect-for-you-spouse.
My marriage has worked out well.
My story:
At the end of a failed 3 year relationship with a man I truly had loved, I cried out (screamed at) God to send me a man I could trust.
The very next day, as my sister and I were driving down a busy street, in a city of millions, we pulled up next to an attractive man in a nice car. He turned and caught us both staring at him.
He waived and we waived. At the next light we turned and he went straight. The end? No.
Three hours later he pulled up next to my sister, on the same street. This time he followed her and got our phone number (we lived together).
He called and sat up a week night meeting. The year was 1976.
He was perfect (for me) but far from perfect. He would say the same about me.
Moral of our story:
If you want a good (for you) spouse, scream at God about it.
Your Maker is a great match-maker. He knows you both better than you will ever know…
He can make good things happen.
That's wonderful!
They aren't mutually exclusive and yet any woman of substance attending church will see right through you if you are there only to seek a wife. They will also ignore you if you are not serious in your pursuit of God. No, you shouldn't just sit around waiting but actively building yourself is not waiting. My point was that you need some amount of substance to be of interest to any woman worth the effort and you need to put in the effort to gain substance.
Thanks for the advice.
What would you say about a wife and mother who works -- whether full-time or part-time, outside the home, or virtually from the home?
Can a family where the wife does work follow well-ordered, traditional gender roles with husband as leader? There are Catholics who hold a wife working outside the home to be a mortal sin, and church documents which disapprove of the practice. What is your opinion on this?
I don't have a well developed or properly theologically formed view on this, so take with a grain of salt please.
My instinct is to say that it depends on the job. Probably fine if the hours are short enough to allow her to also do other important wifely/motherly things. Not good if the job means her spending long hours away from the home, especially in the company of random men.
Long hours and company of women aren't ideal, should be avoided/reduced where possible, but are worth the tradeoff for other benefits (supporting the family).
Men cheating on women isn't less of a concern, and I didn't say it was. Neither did I say anything approaching your final sentence.
If one doesn't have a career that you will be wealthy but you will be comfortable can you still be appealing to a good woman?
Of course! There are no absolutes. Develop the best career you can while being the best man you can. No one is perfect. Every woman has to make compromises when choosing her man - just as you will have to choose and love an imperfect woman.
What if your like me who is still on my way to getting my career going, can a good woman still be drawn to me?
Yes, absolutely. Women are good at spotting men who have potential to become great husbands. Just make sure you're on the right path and she'll discern that
I can't tell if this is meant to be satire or not?
If not, yikes...
Yikes!
All of this advice is useless if you are not already a person of depth. Instead of going to church to look for a wife instead go to become a man of God. After you have gained substance you won't have to seek women out, they will find you. And nobility for the sake of power is an empty enterprise. As Solomon stated it is just chasing after wind and avails nothing. Seek a life of substance (the Kingdom of God) and all else will be given to you.
Going to church to become a man of God and to meet a wife aren't mutually exclusive, and marrying, protecting, and providing for a good woman will all aid in 'developing depth'.
Sitting around and waiting for a woman to find you because you've decided that you've gained sufficient 'substance' is impressively terrible and unnatural advice, and goes against the entirety of the Christian tradition of courtship (right back to Rebecca and Isaac). You won't find a wife this way.